so jealous

so today i didn't know whether to laugh or cry, because while a part of me was genuinely happy for you, the larger part is still green and upset at the unfairness of it all- that i've gone on to become nothing but just another face in the crowd while others get to participate in and help create your happiness. i want to make happy memories with you; i want photographs and christmas trees and rocking horses..

but that's life i guess. too bad, better luck next time. and although i'd like to think i've moved on (Yes, I Have), it still sucks. and it always will. today the little things like your laugh and mannerism reminded me that you're the same person i loved and will always love. (i like to think there is enough love to go round with some left for you)

yeah today was a little like dark chocolate.