it ends tonight

in life sometimes, we choose the hard way. the painful way. maybe it's the masochist in us that does it. people can sit by us for hours and tell us what to do (or what NOT to do), what to say, reminding you over and over again to do what's best. but what's best is often subjective to ones whims or impulses or.. many other things

i won't say it's been good. it wasn't at all, in fact and hasn't been for weeks, just like i haven't. just how much is too much; and how long is too long? but all i know, and have known is, that the important thing is to remain in control. you control where you go- you can steer, and you can make the pain end. so goodnight and, goodbye for real this time