feel it right now

inadequacy, imperfection and the blah. bla bla bla

i daresay i've never really tried hard. there's no.. hunger, hunger for success or for something better. i've just floated along, put in occasional bursts of speed (a product of desperate times, trust me. like, y'know, end of year exams), and reaped so-so rewards. fine. i can live with that. it's a compromise of sorts i guess, between being slothy and being well, studious (ha ha ha). i must say i've walked the fine line quite well, just doing enough to not tip over and smash self into smithereens.

but sometimes, the heart gets occasional bright ideas and wants to well, try for something extra. you know, like those bonus levels in supermario. things you won't die without achieving, but you want to give a shot at anyway. for kicks, maybe. but the head is protesting violently.

like now.

i feel like giving up already. this brain is not used to strenuous activity. oh god i think i will continue when my flash of inspiration strikes me (if ever)