we bet the willing

you know how it is, when you lose things and you feel this unexplicable hollow in your heart

to think that you once had something, and to look at it now and wonder- why, and where did it all go

to look upon that face you thought you once knew so well, the very image seared into your brain- why, and how did it disappear

to see the smiles that don't extend to the eyes, to watch halfhearted waves, to feel sickness extending to your toes and much more

to listen to awkward conversations that don't say much- how they say nothing and yet everything; everything about what you've become and what went wrong

knowing that awkward starts and stops are probably all that will constitute your next conversation just sends the message home, doesn't it. after all's been said and done, maybe it's time to stop trying so hard.

i just guess i'm lucky i'm not reminded of this on a daily basis anymore