Day Two

"Silence makes the real conversation. Not the saying, but the never needing to say that counts."
— Margaret Lee Runbeck

you try to mould someone to what you want him or her to be to you, and then you wind up falling short, and further away from where you were

i don't think i'm being unfair

NESCAFE

even canned coffee tastes of you

you are your own

Today, it seems real. when you are fucked, you realise that you are completely, and utterly alone. FML

I have found my hero, and he is me

(God, let me pass through unscathed and I promise, never again)

FML

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML

HEH HEH

a mirror without

I'd like to lie back in the certainty
The certainty of you
But now I realize there is nothing
There is nothing absolute

fishing around here

i read, and remember what it's like. and wonder when i'll feel like that again.

where are you?

but frozen things they all unfreeze

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do headstands for you
Every time I fell on you yeah every time I fell
I tried to do handstands for you
But every time I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you

HELL

can't wait for this to be over and done with. pray let me pass everything, so that go on magic carpet rides. perth!! O MAO

a little respect

sometimes it's hard to not get hopping mad with what comes out of people's mouths. the shallowness, thoughtlessness and ignorance of it all. geez. and then i try to remind myself that it's because you don't know any better, like the other 34675869 other people out there. then i get consumed by other thoughts like 'how can you not know' and 'why can't you think a little before you mouth off' and 'don't speak about things of which you are ignorant you git'. and i just want to up and go, because you are so closed.

but then i think the least i can do is to maybe, one day make you see. and you really should open your eyes, because there's so much more to life than yourself, the library, school and books

addendum: (12/03)
there is no we. please don't lump the lot of us together, just because. i take offense.

Are you in or are you out

"Dreams are always crushing when they don't come true. But it's the simple dreams that are often the most painful because they seem so personal, so reasonable, so attainable. You're always close enough to touch, but never quite close enough to hold and it's enough to break your heart." - Nicholas Sparks

Enough. I'm better than this.
____________________


I wouldn't consider myself competitive. In fact, I don't even strive to be the best. The best I can be, for myself, sometimes. Perhaps. But aiming to trounce everyone else: nope, not my cup of tea. But today, after 20 years of cruising along, I realise that it's because I've never really had to work hard. Things have always just fallen into my lap. They just fall into place somehow. And that does give rise to complacency. Laziness, even, because then you just wind up taking success for granted. Failure becomes a stranger, or maybe like an acquaintance, someone you meet in passing what, once or twice a year.

Not wanting to be the best is one thing, but settling for mediocrity is another. In a similar vein to that above- Enough.

the end is nigh

cheesed off. why should i be on hold? and it doesn't help that i feel like i'm being pulled in 23847 different directions.

daph come home. september come quick, bum+krabi come quick. dental = MENTAL