they won't know who we are

i know a place that we can go to
a place where no one knows you
let me take you there

wish someone would swoop down on me and say this right now

kill

You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

cut me loose

i admit i'm a flawed individual. call me irresponsible, if you like, i'll give that to you. sorry i can't give more of myself, sorry i'm not as sacrificing an individual as the many other people are, sorry i'm not like you. different people cope differently with things. and right now, i want more time in my life for myself. and for the people i haven't even sniffed since dental school started. i just don't want to feel like i'm living my life for all these events. running from school to something else and something Else. and well, yeah i may have 309814 excuses but the bottomline honestly is that i just don't enjoy it anymore. and i could give you 101 reasons for that too, at the risk of looking like a lame duck. just. PLEASE. stop. judging. me. really, this could be so much easier

swim

you gotta swim
swim when it hurts
the whole world is watching
you haven't come this far
to fall off the earth

i swim for better days

well school has been crummy. i have no life. but mathematically i guess that is incorrect because.. school is my life. i have a life. guess it's not just not what i envisioned. my imagination could certainly have done a better job. i haven't seen some friends since school started (i'm sorr-reee). will be Finally free come 4th november, once the stupid anatomy test is over and done with.

other than that. i guess i'm really quite happy with where i am right now, and the new friends that i've made :) although it really doesn't mean that i'm not making time for you all! it's just hard to cope, and i'm still finding my rhythm now. and i need to exercise badly. but i hate playing softball in the dead of the night.. so. that's something i'll be hoping to strike off my to-do list soon. if you're reading this and you haven't heard from me in the last 7 days.. i'm sorry! i really do miss you and think of you (yes all of you) periodically. cross my heart and hope to die (haha so marykateashley whoever but you get what i mean)

tired of singing all the sad songs in my head

relying on my best memories to breathe for me, breathe for me

been stretched thin between school and books and the hospital this week. results will be out on tuesday, please let it be no big deal. this year has seen me in hospital twice already, i think i've busted my quota for the year. hohum.

school has been a mad rush. and it's only going to get madder; should i flash a happy smile? i'm still learning to juggle and to actually study, but i really could be better at this. post-physio timbre on thursday was good fun and a nice respite though; you know who you are :)

and i love skype, because it makes us this much closer even though you still can't see me because i don't have a webcam (but that's no loss right? ;))