far away

Far away far away, I want to go far away.
To a new life on a new shore line.
Where the water is blue and the people are new.
To another island, in another life.

my sundown

With one hand high
You'll show them your progress
You'll take your time
But no one cares
No one cares
I need you to show me
The way from crazy
I wanna be so much
More than this

here i am

i don't know why you think your asinine comments are funny, because i'm not the least tickled. up yours.

all the same sad lives

i don't know how to account for the general lack of zest; this lack of mojo. maybe it's the being in an alien environment, being surrounded by alien people and.. well generally feeling like the alien. school's been so busy i haven't really had time to even say hello to me. people are well, as people can be. and if i could, i would fast-forward to 3 months later, because i'd want to see everyone sans pretences. trying to figure out what other people are really thinking is a tricky (and exhausting) business to be going about daily.

and it doesn't help that everyone is moving, moving so quickly on with their lives or moving elsewhere to begin their lives afresh. while here i am, dredged in the sludge called dent school. and every day, i tell myself that things will get better in the hope that they eventually will. i think it's called denial. because things are obviously only going to go downhill. ha haha hahaha what happened to rainbows

AND i don't generally don't like being measured against rulers or what you deem to be Normal (and this applies to >2 areas in my life right now) because a) i'm not atypical and b) i really, really dislike mcps. so please don't come and tell me that i'm any less capable than you are/of any less value because i'm a girl/ insert noun/adjective because that makes me really, really mad. what happened to mutual respect?

the worst part

but the truth is
theres a line that we all cross
i've been crossed out
we all get crossed out

all the same sad lives
all the love that disappears
we are aching bones
and wasted years

L

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Adrian Tan, NTU Convo 2008

mint car

I really don't think it gets any better than this
Vanilla smile
And a gorgeous strawberry kiss
Birds sing we swing
Clouds drift by and everything is like a dream
It's everything I wished

haven't felt like this in a while. listening to happy songs makes me feel strangely unhappy. keep the faith, that's what i need to remember right now

ctrl.alt.del

tired of being largely immobile and in pain every time i try to move, breathe, laugh, yawn

tired of conforming, tired of not being the perfect fit, tired from trying to justify why things are the way they are

tired of feeling like a bad friend because we don't talk enough, tired of the lack of time, tired of the excuses

tired, before school has even bloody started

right now there's nothing i'd like better than to breathe in, and fall into deep, deep sleep