the future's just a pleasant interruption

"Don't you think it's better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?"

-The Time Traveller's Wife

change your mind

well, here's to closing another chapter. i really should have put that full-stop in sooner. goodbye, and hurrah! having nothing left to lose is actually.. pretty liberating. no matter, it goes into the box of experiences. the more the merrier, no?

____

they say, insanity is expecting different results despite doing the same thing over and over again. i think i'm starting to fall into a pattern. a not-so-clever pattern i'd say. still, i'd like to think that every chapter in my book is like a breath of fresh air all over again- that you are the breath of fresh air i need right now. or well, that would be good to have, need perhaps being too strong a word.

and so i say, to you, if you're actually reading this: why not?

Hm

talking to R is always.. interesting. R always has good quotes, or something clever to say.

By about 4 AM he had decided he was in love with me. Which, though a little strange, since I'd barely spoken, was fine with me. It's always nice when someone's in love with you. Gives you leverage.

- Wasted, Marya Hornbacher

it ends tonight

in life sometimes, we choose the hard way. the painful way. maybe it's the masochist in us that does it. people can sit by us for hours and tell us what to do (or what NOT to do), what to say, reminding you over and over again to do what's best. but what's best is often subjective to ones whims or impulses or.. many other things

i won't say it's been good. it wasn't at all, in fact and hasn't been for weeks, just like i haven't. just how much is too much; and how long is too long? but all i know, and have known is, that the important thing is to remain in control. you control where you go- you can steer, and you can make the pain end. so goodnight and, goodbye for real this time